What if?
by LegacyChick
Summary: Cody remembers the day his heart broke and his world fell apart, asking himself the same question over and over again. "What if?"        Pairing: Candy        Warning: Angst, Fluff, Slash


**I'm sorry. I know I promised the next chap of "SmutFest", but this here has bugging me like forever. I don't know where the image came from, but for weeks I see Randy in my head... in a completely white suit, short-sleeved dress-shirt, white shoes, etc... and I just had to write it. Why I didn't take it for "SmutFest"? Because the only one I could think of as Randy's "significant other" in this One-shot has been Cody... and Candy surely is no rare pairing (though I hate to see that it's barely written anymore). **

**Okay, enough rambling... 1) I'm still watching Smackdown and don't wanna miss Jakey-boy destroying that Jamaican Jumping Bean and 2) Cause I want you to read, read, read... and then review :P **

**The end has been a bit rushed... I'll admit it, but that's because I didn't want the shot to become too long, plus... the ending wasn't as importnat as the rest. Not this time at least.**

**Pairing: Candy**

**Warning: Slash, Fluff, Angst**

**Disclaimer: I own those two brilliant muses who helped me writing this piece of art... else I only own a wicked and way too overloaded mind. Everything else goes to WWE :)**

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He remembered it as if it had been yesterday, once again, for the utmost time. He was asking himself how it had come to this, how this had all gone so wrong, what if…? What if he had just said it aloud? Three years ago… and he could still see him so clearly, standing at the aisle, his bronze-tanned skin in such breath-taking contrast to the white suit, as white as his sparkling teeth. Even his shoes had carried the color of innocence, though nothing about that man was innocent –Cody knew that for a fact. The only thing betraying his happy, excited, almost ecstatic shell had been his eyes –the usually warm, flashing blue replaced by a saddened, pained gray- though nobody had seen it, nobody but Cody.

And he had not done a thing to stop him. He had done nothing to prove him wrong, to show him that he belonged to him, they belonged together. He had done nothing to keep Randy from breaking his heart. Ever since that day, ever since he had witnessed his soulmate, his friend, his lover… his love… marrying another human being, a woman, Cody had not been himself… and neither had Randy.

The affair had started out slow, so very slow, neither of them really knowing what they were doing, neither of them knowing where it was going. One silly kiss had let to so much more. In the beginning they had sneaked around, shared secretive kisses in corners, lingering touches under tables, intimate hours in hotel-rooms far away from their co-workers, Cody knowing that it would never be more than an affair and Randy never giving him another idea.

It had taken some time, weeks, months even, until they had both understood what they really meant to each other but neither of them had admitted it, not even by now. After a year, Sam had found out. They had gotten sluttish, careless, did not hide that well anymore, quick, stolen glances had turned into heated, lingering stares, messages not getting deleted anymore, Randy even answering Cody's calls when he had been at home. Of course, it had been bound to fail.

She had given Randy a choice however: either marry her or she would be gone… forever…

It was not as if Randy did not love her –god knows he did- and it had taken him long, days of thinking, nights of tossing and turning, until he had made his decision. He just could not give everything up. His love, his friends –who he was sure, would soon turn their backs on him when they found out about Cody-, his career –everyone knew for a fact that being gay in that business was pretty much your death penalty. And he did not want Cody to experience any of this as well. He was still young, had still his whole career in front of him, a bright life ahead. He would find someone else, someone better than him, for sure.

The day he had told Cody his decision, the young man had almost broken down. Sure, he had not been delusional, he had known that Randy would chose his wife, but hearing it, having Randy tell it to his face, he had been crushed.

"_I'm sorry, Codes… it's just… I think it's better for the two of us." Cody stood, still, only nodding his head. Though in the inside he was dying, he tried to keep his composure. Calm, a faint smile on his lips, he shrugged. "It's okay… really." It was a lie, maybe the biggest of his entire life, but what else was he supposed to say? Randy had made his decision. "It's not okay… I'll miss you." The young man could clearly see the hurt in Randy's eyes, tears on the verge of falling as they stood only inches apart, Randy's strong, large palms cupping his cheeks, noses brushing, foreheads resting against eachothers. _

"_We're still friends… There's nothing to miss." It was not be the same, it would never be-Cody knew that- and even as he spoke those words, he knew deep down inside that it was really over, their affair, their love, their friendship. He saw Randy's Adams Apple bopping as he gulped down, trying to play it cool –as cool as possible with tears in your eyes and shaking hands. "Yeah… True." _

He did not even realize he was staring at the picture again –Randy in that white suit, looking like an angel, white sleeves pulled up to show off the tattoos gracing his arms, those strong, powerful arms that had always managed to make him feel safe. The second half of that picture had been cut off since it had been too painful to look at her, at his side, in that unbelievable pretty dress of hers. Tears dwelling up in his usually so bright blues, Cody cursed himself for not stepping in.

Nothing had been the same after that day. Two months after Randy had made his decision, he had stood in front of that altar, looking Sam into the eyes, smiling at her like he had always smiled at him, saying the words to her that Cody had so much desired to hear throughout their whole affair… their relationship. It had not only broken his heart, but also his soul.

However, he had kept up his façade, outside at least. He had played his role so well –happy, nerdy, kind, friendly- as if nothing affected him, towards his friends, his family, towards Randy, but as soon as he was alone, there had not been one minute in those past three years that he had not broken down, a crying, heaving, pathetic mess.

He just could not forget Randy, could not forgive himself for letting him go.

Only months later Randy had told him that Sam was pregnant and Cody would never forget that look of pure joy, of contentness, of love –for his wife- on his handsome face. What if Cody had told him? He would never find out, because he had been too much of a coward to admit to him that he needed him –to live, to breathe, to love. What if he had begged him to leave Sam instead? What if he had begged him to choose him? Sure, they would have risked their jobs, their careers, their friends for it, but it would have been worth it, wouldn't it? Though with him, Randy would have never felt the joy of becoming, of being a dad and he knew how much the older man loved his little "bug". He could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice whenever he talked about her to their co-workers.

It were the same questions over and over again, every single day, every single hour of his pathetic life. He had tried to forget Randy, god knows he had, but no man –and no woman- had come close to that wonderful specimen. No one could take his place, make him feel as safe, as loved, as precious, as Randy had done. No one had managed to heal his broken heart.

Randy and him had been strictly co-workers for those past three years. Though it had looked different to many fans and co-workers –who had often pointed out a natural chemistry between them- they had never ever kissed again, touched again. Cody could imagine it though, he could still feel Randy's smooth hands caressing his skin, making it feel on fire, could still feel those soft, full lips on his own, tasting them, lingering, devouring them, whenever he closed his eyes… even after all this time.

They barely talked, only business. The last time they had talked about something else than a script had been when he had broken up with Beth and even that conversation –lasting a whole five minutes- had been beyond awkward. The Legacy-storyline had been hell for Cody and if it had not been for Ted –his best friend, the only one who knew about Randy, about their affair- the young brunette would have given up so many times, would have thrown his career away more than just once. The tension had been unbearable.

He snapped back out of his state when a loud knock sounded at his door. Quickly placing the picture of beauty on his gym-bag, he wiped away the tears that had freely streamed down his cheeks with the back of his hand, almost angrily rubbing, before he muttered a short "Wait" and ushered over to the door, the knocking becoming more insistent. Straightening his clothes –one of Randy's old shirts he always wore at night, and some gym-shorts- he took a deep breath to calm his nerves, before putting on his best, fakest smile, and opening the door.

The sight though, made his breath hitch and the tears instantly sprung back, his whole composure gone in just mere seconds. Randy was standing right in front of him, dishevelled, eyes blood-shot as if he had not slept in days, face wrinkled –making him look ages older- one of Cody's old shirts covering his torso –way too small, displaying his tense muscles underneath- and some old-ripped jeans hugging his legs in all the right places. Even in that state, Randy still looked absolutely amazing to him.

Before his mind could register what was happening, Randy ran a hand over the stubbles on his head, swallowing hard, his pained eyes searching for those of his former lover. "I can't." The low rumble, shaky, nervous, brought Cody back out of his daze, and he arched a brow, the confusion clearly written all over his face. Opening his mouth to speak, no words coming out though, he surrendered to gaping.

"I can't go on like this, Codes… I need you." Tears now streaming freely down his cheeks, slowly registering the words, the younger mans body shook, a mixture of frustration, of pain, of confusion running through him as he finally found his voice again. "What do you mean?" It was just a choked whisper, the pain in his voice almost ripping Randy's heart in two, and instead of explaining the meaning of his words with even more words; he did the only thing that he knew would work, the one thing he had missed so much over the past three years: he showed him.

Cupping Cody's cheeks in his large, shaking palms, he leant forward until their noses brushed against eachothers and softly pressed his lips onto the smaller brunette's. A sweet gasp of surprise left Cody before he gave in and returned the kiss, his arms –out of habit almost- going to Randy's neck, pulling him closer, their tongues meeting, dancing together, two simultanous moans ringing through the air. It was like their first kiss all over again –their first sober one at least- both of them lost in the feeling of safety, of warmth, of love, so lost to the outside world.

They were still standing in the doorframe, neither of them obvious to it, neither of them caring, neither of them wanting to change a thing. They did not part until the older man had to pull away in order to regain his breath, his forehead resting against Cody's, blue, warm depths staring at the young man, waiting for him to open his eyes, to react in some way or another. Slowly but steadily, his lashes fluttered open, wide cerulean seas staring into a pool of uncertainty, the corners of Cody's lips steadily rising until they formed a soft smile, his thumbs unconsciously stroking the tense flesh of Randy's neck.

"What about Sam?" The question did not surprise the older one the slightest, since he had expected it from his younger lover. He shook his head, own lips finally releasing the frown and twitching up into a faint smile as he placed his hands on the young brunette's hips, massaging them gently. "She got the divorce-papers two days ago. I couldn't do it anymore, Codes… I couldn't go on pretending that I don't care about you, that I don't love you anymore, my sweetness. I just couldn't."

He had so many more questions he wanted to ask, but Cody did not want to ruin this moment. Obviously, he would have a lot of time to ask them… at least that was what it seemed like. Just standing there, with Randy finally back in his arms, the strong, warm palms holding him tight, making him feel safe, making him feel content and loved, those now crystal-clear, deep, sincere blues staring into his, he knew that they would pass all obstacles… as long as they just sticked together. Answers could wait. This here… it couldn't.

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**PS: Nevermind my comment about the Jake/Kingston match *huffs* **

**Reviews are as always much appreciated. No matter how short they are.**

**I'll try and finish Ted/John before "NOtC" but won't promise anything anymore until work will give me some space. (:**


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